Breaking Slowly
by agentjareau
Summary: Blake decides to help JJ open up about her experiences and feelings. Blake/JJ friendship drabble.


"_How_ are you doing?" JJ pressed.

She had an overwhelming concern for Blake. She listened to her friends worries, and assured her that they fired 30 times into that lake, and that they must have caught the guy. JJ put a hand on her colleagues back and they began to walk away. Suddenly, Blake stopped.

"JJ, I can't help but wonder.." She waited until Jennifer gave her a sincere look, then continued, "how are _you_ doing?"

JJ stopped for a moment and crossed her arms in thought. She gave her friend a rather skeptical look and laughed a tad. "I'm fine."

Alex Blake knew better, "_Really_? You haven't talked about it since you got back."

JJ shrugged merely, "I.. I don't want to. What's done is done. I can't go back and change that."

Blake looked down sadly, "You can't keep it inside forever." After not much of a response from JJ, Blake had a follow up question, "does Will know?"

JJ put some thought into an answer, "we all have our secrets."

Blake wasn't quite frustrated with JJ, but she was rather upset about how secretive and isolated she really was. "He's your husband, I think he deserves to know." Blake said in a soothing voice.

"I.. I've already told him little things."

Alex Blake wanted nothing more than a friendship with Jennifer Jareau. Infact, she would rather have a tiny friendship with JJ than a big one with Hotchner. "JJ, I really want to help you." Blake said. She thought out her next question carefully. "What.." She considered her question, "_what happened_?"

JJ looked up and Blake stared into her blue eyes, filled with fear, hurt, and sorrow. "It's.. It's not easy to say," JJ started. "Then we will move somewhere that's quiet." Blake suggested, before leading JJ away to one of the vacant interrogation offices.

They sat down, and Alex noticed JJ's eyes hitting every other point in the room, as if they were searching for something. "I.. I had a miscarriage." JJ said. There. She said it. It was over. She had told Will, and now, she had told Blake. She could barely tell Reid, and she didn't think he would handle it that well. Infact, JJ reckoned he would hate her even more for lying to everyone about _that_.

Blake's eyes filled with sadness, and her jaw dropped a tad. She reached for JJ's cold, tender hand, and grasped it, telling JJ that it was okay. "JJ, I'm.. I'm so sorry." Was all she could muster.

JJ suddenly became rather fidgety, and panicky. "Hastings.. As-Askari... They're.."

"_They're gone_."

Those two words Alex used must have done something to JJ. Her eyes remained hurt, but she could definitely tell that some of her fear had gone. But, noticing her eyes hitting every other point in the room, Blake had to question it.

"What are you looking for?" JJ looked at Blake and fixed her eyes on her.

"Happiness... Trust..." There was something more, there always was with JJ. Spencer Reid had told Alex that fact.

"What are you _really_ looking for?"

"I'm looking... To not feel so _broken_." Blake glanced at JJ a bit, assuring her that once again, she was okay. "I'm tired." JJ complained, sadly. Alex didn't want to interfere with what JJ was trying to say, and she wanted to make the young woman feel safe. "I'm tired of being broken. I was cracking.. Shattering into a million pieces right in front of you all. I keep shutting myself out, I do." She sniffled. "I'm just tired of feeling so alone. Tired of l-losing." Alex took JJ's words into consideration. Her colleague had been breaking herself down for the past few weeks, after her abduction, and she hadn't noticed. She felt horrible.

"I.. I've gotta go for family photos next week." JJ slightly laughed.

"That sounds fun." Blake smiled.

"Thing is, Henry's not the photogenic type like his father, so I guess it's him and I against the world.." Blake laughed, and it made JJ feel happy. She hadn't felt happy in a long time. JJ closed her eyes for a moment and thought about everything.

"Thank you." She said, looking up at Blake shortly after.

"For.. For what?" Alex wondered. She had only listened to JJ. "For listening." Oh. It made sense to her now, "That's all I need. Somebody to talk to." Blake needed to ask one more question, "are you having nightmares?" JJ looked down in embarrassment. "Every night." Blake noticed JJ's embarrassment, and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, hey, I still have nightmares about what the replicator did to me. Its alright." JJ stared down at her feet, "and Will and I are trying for another baby, but I'm afraid I'll lose it."

"Everything happens for a reason, JJ, and the baby you lost before.. Maybe needed to be up there."

"Why?" JJ questioned, before considering her words, "I'm sorry, I.. I sound pathetic. I'm supposed to be the one who's there when you need me. If I'm not the one who's there.. Then I don't know who it is." Blake sighed. JJ always hid her feelings away, and always helped other people solve their problems, and always made sure everyone was okay. She never once considered her feelings. Alex just wanted to help her.

"It's okay. It's.. okay to break down sometimes." JJ looked at a certain spot in the room. She couldn't look Blake in the eye. She couldn't look anyone in the eye. "I cry.. Myself to sleep.. Every night." JJ said, her voice breaking. "I'm not very.. Wise, but I'll tell you one thing: it's okay to cry." "Crying isn't my thing. It's.. It doesn't make me very strong." JJ said, half regretting that last part.

"Sometimes, the strongest people in the morning are the ones who cry themselves to sleep at night."

"Where'd you hear that?" JJ asked, rather skeptically.

"I.. I don't know, JJ, I think I heard it at a linguistics lecture back in.. '99?" JJ chuckled, "thank you." "But I'm old... And you're young. I suggest taking a chance..." Blake went to get up, "see where it'll lead to." JJ smiled as Blake got up, and hugged her, telling her thank you for everything. "I um.." JJ started, looking into Blake's eyes, "I can see a really.. Really good friendship coming out of this." With that, JJ wiped a tear, and smiled sadly at her friend.

Opening up will _never_ be easy for JJ. But, she can always _try_.


End file.
